Thursday, February 23, 2012

A new priest

A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like, 'Yes, I see,' and 'Yes, go on,' or 'I understand.'"

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, "NO s**t, what happened next?"

Taken from some ones FB page

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Bob and Dave, Part 4 of the On-going Love Story

This is a story I submitted to 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge
The word/phrase for this weeks challenge was "A"

Bob and Dave, Part 4 of the On-going Love Story



“I just don’t know, Bob. Or… I forgot. I don’t remember… I don’t know.”


“No, Bob. I know I should remember... but Bob, I don’t.”


“Bob, don’t try to shame me into remembering.”


“It won’t work, Bob. You can not intimidate or cajole me into saying anything, whether I remember or not.”


“Stop it, Bob. It isn’t working.”


“Ok, so I do remember. But, Bob, you don’t want to know. You know how you get.”


“Ok, ok, I made an “A” on that psych test you made a “C” on.”

Skinny Dipping

Emailed to me from one of my brothers:

Skinny Dipping

An elderly man in Florida had owned
a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back.

It was properly shaped for swimming,
so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables,
horseshoe courts, and some orange,
and lime trees.

One evening the old farmer decided
to go down to the pond, as he hadn't
been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to
bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices
shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a
bunch of young women
skinny-dipping in his pond

He made the women aware of
his presence and they all went to
the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him,
"we're not coming out of this pond
until you leave."

The old man frowned, "I didn't
come down here to watch you
ladies swim naked, or to make
you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said:
"I'm just here to feed the alligator."

Some old men can still think fast.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Bob and Dave, The Love Story, Part 3

This is a story I submitted to 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge
The word/phrase for this weeks challenge was "I don't know" (I actually thought it was mirror). Anyway, this is what I wrote.

Bob and Dave, The Love Story, Part 3

“Oh Wow! … Bob!”
“Dave… the things you get excited over tend to hurt me. So, do not be angry with me if I ignore you.”
“But, Bob…. “
“Dave, the last two weeks have been difficult. First I get Crunched by some unseen assailant… “
“I tried to warn…”
“Stow it Dave. And last week I get traumatized by that dinosaur exhibit you dragged me off to.”
“How was I to know part of exhibit was an automated T. Rex that almost snapped your head off?”
“But this mirror, Bob.”
“What mir … “
“Uh oh, Bob… Car or ambulance?”

Bob and Dave, The Love Story Continues.

Here is my second story I submitted to 100 Word Stories
This weeks challenge was Museum.

Bob and Dave, The Love Story Continues.

“Hey, Bob.”
"What Dave?”
“You know I am sorry…”
“Yeah, I know, Dave.”
“I did try to warn you.”
“I know, Dave.”
“But you wouldn’t let me tell you”
“When has that ever stopped you, Dave?”
“Well, I know, Bob, but I did warn you.”
“Yes, Bob.”
“Why are you bringing this up now?”
“Well, the museum is having a new exhibit this week.”
“Really? Is it interesting?”
“I think so, but, Bob, you might not want to go… considering what happened last week.”
“What is it Dave? And do I have to go?”
“Well, Bob… It’s about dinosaurs.”

Bob and Dave, a Love Story

Awhile ago (a few weeks) I was made aware of the 100 word stories podcast ( by Laurence Simon. Fun stories. Short. And he has a weekly challange. He annouces a word or subject to write about then fans/authors are encouraged to write and submit a 100 word story based on the prompt. I started wrtiting and submitting. here's my first story. It's about Bob ... and ... Dave.
The weekly challange this week was a "pick two" from a list.
here's a link the episode with my story read by ... TREED!

Bob and Dave, a Love Story
By Thomas Reed
“Yeah, I know. Don’t say it.”
“But ... Bob…”
“Look, Dave, I KNOW. Now just do not mention it again.”
“Ok, Bob, but you…”
“DAVE! Don’t say it.”
“Well, Bob, then just let me say that it has been nice knowing you.”
“Gee, Dave. It’s been nice knowing you too. Now, why are you saying that?”
“Now Bob, you haven’t wanted to me to …”
“See? If I don’t tell you…”
“Not a word.”
“Bob, do you forgive me?”
“For what, Dave? You haven’t said or done anything… yet.”
“Bob, you HAVE to look behind you…”
“DAVE!! I… “