Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Blonde Flight Attendant

Taken from yerjoking.net

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip.

Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.

She answered the phone, crying, and said, “I can’t get out of the room!”

“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked. “Why not?”

She replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

Friday, April 2, 2010

Need Water?? Get a Tie...

from yerjoking.net

An Arab was plodding through the desert, desperate for water. After hours of the tortuous heat, he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling neckties.

The Arab asked, “Do you have water?”

The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.”

The Arab shouted, “Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!”

“OK,” said the old Jewish man, “it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.”

Muttering, the Arab staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.

“Your brother won’t let me in without a tie!”